The Best Band-You've-Never-Heard In The World!

Sometime last year a guy in HMV gave me a recomendation. I was buying myself an XTC album and a Frank Zappa compilation for a friend. The bloke at the counter said, "Hey, if you like Zappa and XTC you might like Cardiacs". Fair enough, I made a mental note and promised myself that I'd check them out. The problem is, you can't actually buy Cardiacs records in HMV. Or, as it turns out, anywhere in Northampton. Luckily, and purely by coincidence, a media lecturer decided to play us a track as part of a popular music lecture. The track was called, There's Good Cud. I had no idea what it was about and months later I've still got no idea. What I did know was that it was the strangest and therefore most wonderful thing I had heard in months, maybe years.
I managed to track down a handle of tracks on t'internet. Weird and wonderful stuff; strange vocals, surreal lyrics and unusual sounds.Heavily arranged but bursting with energy. It was avant-garde punk rock filtered through Bohemian Rhapsody and Les Miserables.
Then, by another beautiful twist of fate, I found out that Cardiacs, the new carriers of all my musical hopes and dreams, were coming to town!

So of course I dragged a friend along and necked a bucketfull of snake-bite and black and the gig was fantastic. Cardiacs are real showmen, the two guitarists and the bass player stood stock still at the front of the stage, in suits and sashes. There they blast out their weird and wonderful songs through a mist of dry ice to a small but appreciative crowd. A longterm fan, following the band on the road, dragged me down to the front, keen to encourage newcomers. I did so much jumping about that I literally snapped my belt. I still have one end of it somewhere around here as a souvenir. I've seen a number of gigs and this one stands out as probably the best. I couldn't help but laugh and giggle my way through it, what with the sheer elation. Forget swimming with dolphins, you'll only be dissapointed. If there's one thing you should make sure you do before you die, seeing Cardiacs is it.