Let's Make This Precious: January 2005

"It's not a cult, It's a collective!"

Time to inject some positivity into this site!

www.join-me.co.uk

Try it, you might like it!

Powerade? Stick to lemonade!(Yes, I know this is rubbish, sorry!)

Just a warning to anyone who sees a drink in the shops called Powerade and think they might like to give a try. It has strange flavour names that sound like something of a bottle of shower gel. Things like Amazon Fresh or Artic Chill. It is also produced in a very strange selection of colours, sickly greens and synthetic blues that make the drinks look not unlike cheap shower gel. Anyone with an ounce of sense might possibly notice a pattern emerging and steer well clear. Sadly however my curiousity got the better of me. I bought it, tried it and there is no twist in this tale. It really does taste like it must be some kind of showergel! (I dont know what showergel tastes like but this stuff must be intended for some sort of cleaning, it certainly isn't drinkable! Frankly it's put me of ever trying new things again ever! I'm sticking to coke from now on! None of that diet coke rubbish either, only the good stuff.

Eddie Izzard Should Have Died Young

OK, so it isn't the most positive start to blog that there has ever been but it's a valid point that deserves to be made. Eddie Izzard has past his peak and there is no way back now. Please understand that I am a big fan of Eddie's work. I used to watch his videos religiously. I spent about a year of my life in highschool talking like him, not deliberately but because I watched his shows so often. Eventually my family picked up on how great he was too. My cousins borrowed Dress To Kill, my Nana had her own copy of Glorious. Imagine how self-satisfied I felt when we had the family round for Christmas and everyone wanted to watch the Eddie Izzard Circle video that I had got for Christmas. I secretly congratulated myself on having the best taste in the room.* Imagine my embarressment when the video I had so looked forward to left my entire family fighting off yawns and struggling to keep their eyes open.

Eddie was dull! I couldn't believe it! All the mannerisms were there, the long drawn out style of speech was still in place. What happened to all the funny bits? Why did he have to keep asking the audience to remind him where he had got to? He never used to do that, he used to take poetic flights of fancy then drag the audience back to where he wanted them. He never needed their help before, they struggled to keep up with him! Still, I told myself. It's probably no more than a blip. Next time round he'll be back on form, no worries! Sadly, Sexie was no better. The best thing on it is the bonus feature where he struggles through a routine in French for a French crowd. Trouble is, all the jokes in that are ancient and all the new material in the main show is weak.

To be honest I can't explain it. The only explanation is that he has become lazy and egocentric. He really thinks that the rubbish he is knocking out is still comedy gold and noone dares correct him. Judging by the documentary included on the Sexie DVD, full of sycophantic fans and American celebs, he wont be getting the kick up the backside he needs any time soon. Which is why I say that it would've been better for Eddie Izzard's comedy career and reputation if he had died young, soon after recording Dress To Kill in fact. He would have died with a back catalogue that is entirely perfect, each video full of clever funny material. A legacy that would leave his fans thinking "If only...", never realising that had he lived he would only have released weak, souless shows that tarnished his once mighty reputation.

Eddie Izzard could have been the comedy equivalent of Jimi Hendrix. If he doesn't get his act together he'll become the comedy Rolling Stones. Selling out big shows on reputation alone. It's sad but true. All Things Must Pass. So pass already, Eddie.

*I still know this to be true