Tiny UK
I have written a sketch and wanted to get some opinion on it. I think it is edgy and dark and different and gloriously un-PC.
It is a sketch to be performed by two people. One of them should be tall, thin and camp. The other should be short, fat and bald. They are not, I repeat, NOT Matt Lucas and David Walliams and you would be very wrong to jump to that conclusion. Although now that I think of it I suppose there is a passing resemblance...
Anyway, Davi...I mean the tall one plays a policeman who likes dressing up in women's clothing. There aren't any other people living locally who enjoy doing the same. In fact he is certainly the only transvestite in the area.
The short, fat one plays a detective inspector who doesn't like to see any of his PCs behaving in a manner that he considers, 'a bit pouffy'. In fact if he does see such a thing he reacts in a way that involves bodily functions and hilarious consequences.
Please take a look, excuse the poor layout, I'm not used to scriptwriting:
V/O: It's a saturday, and in the small village of Coventry City On The Wold local policeman PC Trousers is doing what he does every weekend, dressing up in women's clothing.
(We see PC Mandy Trousers mincing down the high street, he is wearing full make up and a girl guide uniform. Pigtails protrude from underneath an old fashioned police helmet.)
Shop Keeper: Morning PC Trousers!
PC Trousers: Good morning, my name is mandy!
Old lady: Good morning constable.
PC Trousers: Good morning, my name is Mandy!
Mother and small child: Good morning.
PC Trousers: Good morning, My name is Mandy!
Detective inspector Kettle: (distractedly) Good morning constable.
PC Trousers: Good morning, my name is Mandy!
DI Kettle: (realising what he has just seen) Wait a minute!
(PC Trousers looks sheepish as DI Kettle suddenly looks really angry at the constable's 'pouffy' clothing. There is a long, loud farting noise and we see a brown stain starting to spread across the seat of DI Kettle's trousers.
We then cut to a HILARIOUS close-up of runny shit falling out of the bottom of DI Kettle's trouser leg. Shoper keeper REACTS, old lady REACTS, PC Trousers REACTS, young woman REACTS, small child bursts into tears. DI Kettle looks sheepish.
The studio audience begins to boo and hiss loudly, PC Trousers sidles over towards DI Kettle.)
PC Trousers: (whispering) Do you ever think that we are taking large amounts of public goodwill and just slowly pissing it up the wall?
DI Kettle: Shut up! I spent a whole afternoon writing this series!
(the pair look towards the camera and smile sheepishly to renewed booing. In the background at the edge of frame a ginger haired woman can be seen taking notes. Fade to black)
Well, that's it. It's not for me to comment of course but I don't think groundbreaking is too strong a word. It's about time people started taking transvestites seriously in comedy as well as employing irony and being gloriously un PC! Also, you can see how I've explored the comedy of embaressement about shitting yourself in public. We've all been there, right? I have tried to avoid putting any actual wordplay or 'jokes' in it as that sort of thing can alienate viewers who dont really like comedy or thinking.
I certainly feel that this sort of thing could sell a lot of T-shirts and scriptbooks, which is after all what comedy is all about.
It is a sketch to be performed by two people. One of them should be tall, thin and camp. The other should be short, fat and bald. They are not, I repeat, NOT Matt Lucas and David Walliams and you would be very wrong to jump to that conclusion. Although now that I think of it I suppose there is a passing resemblance...
Anyway, Davi...I mean the tall one plays a policeman who likes dressing up in women's clothing. There aren't any other people living locally who enjoy doing the same. In fact he is certainly the only transvestite in the area.
The short, fat one plays a detective inspector who doesn't like to see any of his PCs behaving in a manner that he considers, 'a bit pouffy'. In fact if he does see such a thing he reacts in a way that involves bodily functions and hilarious consequences.
Please take a look, excuse the poor layout, I'm not used to scriptwriting:
V/O: It's a saturday, and in the small village of Coventry City On The Wold local policeman PC Trousers is doing what he does every weekend, dressing up in women's clothing.
(We see PC Mandy Trousers mincing down the high street, he is wearing full make up and a girl guide uniform. Pigtails protrude from underneath an old fashioned police helmet.)
Shop Keeper: Morning PC Trousers!
PC Trousers: Good morning, my name is mandy!
Old lady: Good morning constable.
PC Trousers: Good morning, my name is Mandy!
Mother and small child: Good morning.
PC Trousers: Good morning, My name is Mandy!
Detective inspector Kettle: (distractedly) Good morning constable.
PC Trousers: Good morning, my name is Mandy!
DI Kettle: (realising what he has just seen) Wait a minute!
(PC Trousers looks sheepish as DI Kettle suddenly looks really angry at the constable's 'pouffy' clothing. There is a long, loud farting noise and we see a brown stain starting to spread across the seat of DI Kettle's trousers.
We then cut to a HILARIOUS close-up of runny shit falling out of the bottom of DI Kettle's trouser leg. Shoper keeper REACTS, old lady REACTS, PC Trousers REACTS, young woman REACTS, small child bursts into tears. DI Kettle looks sheepish.
The studio audience begins to boo and hiss loudly, PC Trousers sidles over towards DI Kettle.)
PC Trousers: (whispering) Do you ever think that we are taking large amounts of public goodwill and just slowly pissing it up the wall?
DI Kettle: Shut up! I spent a whole afternoon writing this series!
(the pair look towards the camera and smile sheepishly to renewed booing. In the background at the edge of frame a ginger haired woman can be seen taking notes. Fade to black)
Well, that's it. It's not for me to comment of course but I don't think groundbreaking is too strong a word. It's about time people started taking transvestites seriously in comedy as well as employing irony and being gloriously un PC! Also, you can see how I've explored the comedy of embaressement about shitting yourself in public. We've all been there, right? I have tried to avoid putting any actual wordplay or 'jokes' in it as that sort of thing can alienate viewers who dont really like comedy or thinking.
I certainly feel that this sort of thing could sell a lot of T-shirts and scriptbooks, which is after all what comedy is all about.
posted by Chris Chopping @ 8:42 AM
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