The Cider Diaries-24/1/09

Last night was a leaving do for Fog's live in lover Emma who is going off travelling around the world for the next eight months. We were meeting at Fog's for a drink or two before heading to Incognitos for a few more. Keen to give Emma a good send off, I turned up at Fog's hand in celebratory mood with a new cider in hand.

36. Kingstone Press Cider
Kingstone Press wasn't anything very special as a cider. Ceri was in Barry for the night but neither me or Fog could get very excited about it. On the back of the bottle it bore the following paragraph:

The traditional type of CIDER PRESS was called a RACK & CLOTH press.

This was used to crush the POMACE and extract the APPLE JUICES

these CIDER JUICES were then left to FERMENT in their own WILD YEAST.

I'm not sure why the manufacture choose to highlight certain words and I'm not sure what a pomace is but I figured I'd include their words here as they probably constitute more actual information than I've ever put into the cider diaries before.

After we'd finished that it was time to head to Incognito. I wasn't optimistic that we'd find a new cider in this particular bar but it was Emma's night so I was in no position to call the shots. I was resigned to just enjoying the evening and forgetting about new ciders for the time being. So I was pleasantly suprised to find that there was indeed a new cider behind the bar.

37. Orchard Gold Award Traditional Farmhouse Welsh Cider

This cider must be some sort of relative of the Gold Medal Welsh cider that we tried a little while ago because it bore the same "Wind of The Dragon" slogan on the bottle. I really liked it but Fog wasn't so keen. "It's the taste at the side of my mouth, it's too dry."

"You're drinking it too slowly, swilling it around in your mouth too quickly," I told him. "Just get it along your tongue and down your neck." I took a bit of time over my next swig, trying to see what Fog was talking about. It did indeed have a different taste at the side of the both but I found it very tasty.

While we enjoyed our drinks we chatted to our new bestest mate James, a friend of Emma's who apparently helps to organise cider festivals in Gloucester. He recommended various ciders including a couple from Cornwall with particularly choice names, Wiggly Worm and Pig's Ear. Mind you, his cider of choice for the evening was Strongbow and black so I'm not really sure if he knows what he's talking about.

Apparently Wiggly Worm was originally made with a real worm in the bottom of each bottle but no longer. This is a relief if I'm honest but there is a part of me that thinks that finding the nerve to drink a cider with a worm in it might make for an entertaining diary entry. Get in touch if you know of such a cider, but I'm only looking for ciders that are usually served that way, I'm not interested in a bottle of Bulmers that's been tampered with.

Later on a group of us had a go on the 'Are You Smarter Than A Ten Year Old?' game on the bar's quiz machine. We lost quite heavily. Alright, maybe we aren't as smart as a ten year old but I'd like to ask any ten year olds this: How many different ciders have you tried this year?

I'm willing to conced that its possible a ten year old somewhere has had more than thirty seven different ciders this year but if they have then they probably have pretty awful, negligent parents so in a way me and Fog probably still win.

The Cider Diaries-5/1/08

Not much to add to The Cider Diaries today as it's the first day this year that me and Fog didn't meet up and drink a new cider.

I imagine there will be many other days like this, probably best to give our livers a rest from time to time.* I don't intend to document each and every one of them but I thought the very first day without cider was worth a passing mention. We can afford a day off, we're doing well on course. But there is a small part of me that can't stop thinking that yesterday we were on eleven ciders in four days and now it's only eleven ciders in five days. Rubbish! I'm itching to drink just one more cider and keep our ratio up. Still, got to let Emma have Fog to herself every now and again if nothing else.

The other day I was talking to my friend Sam about the challenge and he told me about a drinking game he once played called Edward Ciderhands. I'd never heard of it before but apparently you tape a two litre bottle of cider to each hand and you're not allowed to take them off again until you've finished drinking the contents.

To me, this game sounds bloody difficult. To be honest, I'm not a big drinker and I'm not sure I can drink four litres of cider in one evening. How much is that in pints? What's more, I'm pretty much certain that I can't drink four or even two litres of cider without needing to go for a pee. I can imagine trying to go to the toilet while half cut with a large plastic bottle taped to each hand is a bit tricky.

I've given it some thought and I think that the only option would be to undo my fly and pop my member out of my trousers before I begin, so that when the need arises I can just stagger over to the toilet, point myself in the right direction without the aid of my hands and hope for the best. When I wasn't actually peeing, I would simply be sat around drinking cider with my cock out. All of which seems a bit unpleasant, undignified and not very sociable. Unless I can come up with a better strategy than that I will not be suggesting to Fog that we give Edward Ciderhands a try.

*In fact, my housemate just offered me a glass of whiskey and I politely turned him down. Aren't I a good boy?

The Cider Diaries-2/1/09

Day two of the challenge found me throwing myself into the challenge with some enthusiasm. My colleagues from the shop I work in were planning a bit of a booze up in a local Old Man Pub called The Rummer Tavern as a send of for the Christmas temps who finished this week. The idea was to meet at eight after the shop shut but my shift finished at five.

I didn't really fancy the half hour walk home in the freezing cold only to walk back again a couple of hours later so I had a better plan. I invited Fog, Ceri and another old friend of mine Reader to meet me there at five so we could get line our stomachs with some old fashioned pub grub and get stuck in to some new ciders. I mention Reader and he is a good friend so he may become a reoccurring figure in this blog but it should be noted that he is not a cider drinker. Not only does he not drink cider regularly, he doesn't drink it ever, sticking almost exclusively to JD and coke. So don't be surprised if he's a somewhat marginal figure in these entries.

Disappointingly Ceri flaked on us and didn't turn up. He didn't text us to let us know and didn't answer his phone when he called. So, me and Fog slagged him off a bit, sent him abusive texts and made the crucial decision that while he was welcome to drink as many ciders with us as he wants, ciders without Ceri still count towards the challenge. So, without furthur ado....

3. Addlestone's Premium Cloudy Cider

Fog was initially a little dubious about this cider. He's a celiac and apparently gluten is often used to make drinks cloudy. Not one to shy away from a challenge, Fog is nonetheless vexed by the thought of making himself seriously ill for the sake of one more cider on the list. I employed my knowledge, wisdom and skill for persuasive argument. "I think, I mean, I'm pretty sure that some ciders are, like cloudy anyway. They're just like that, I think. I don't think they put things in them." I also pointed at the words 'naturally cloudy' on the label. Fog agreed to proceed.

The cider itself was lovely. My previous experience of cloudy ciders have not been enjoyable. They've been ciders that were flat, strong and quite unpleasant tasting. Much to my relief this was relatively light, and refreshing with a bit of a fizz to it. Definitely one I'll be trying again. Fog really liked it, going so far as to call it, 'the shit' and throwing ludicrous gang signs. He also agreed that he hoped to enjoy more Addlestone's in due course.

4. Bulmer's Pear Cider

I was looking forward to this one. Over the past few years I've developed a fondness for Pear Ciders. Later in the evening Physics Dave from work raised the point that Pear ciders are not officially classed as ciders. They're considered 'perrys' by aficionados. Or 'Piders' according to Fog. You might think then that we'd be excluding Pear Ciders from our challenge. You've got to have rules after all. But we are including pear ciders and I'll explain why.

Firstly, one of the aims of this challenge is to push ourselves to try new and different ciders, rather than drinking the same ciders all the time. It goes against this spirit to start excluding things and ruling drinks out. As far as I'm concerned anything that says cider on the bottle/can/tap is fine by me.

Secondly, as much as this challenge is about cider it's about something else as well. It's a celebration of social drinking, of time spent with friends drinking, talking bollocks and having a laugh. It's about fun and getting too anal about the exact, strict definition of what is or isn't a cider seems somehow anti-fun.

Thirdly, I really like pear cider.

I enjoyed this one. It's not the best pear cider I've had by any means but it has a clear pear flavour and isn't too sweet or too sharp, I've had several pear ciders that fall into one or other of those traps. Fog felt it was one of the best pear ciders he'd ever had. "Certainly the best I've had this year," he quipped. Yeah, I know. He makes a lot of jokes like that.

5. Magners

I've never liked Magners. You know the stuff, the mass produced bottled cider that has become popular in recent years in line with an increase in cider drinking generally. At first I was pleased to see a cider other than Strongbow in pubs. It made a change, variety is the spice of life and all that. But recently I've been spoiled by the easy availability of decent ciders. Most pubs have two or three ciders at least and Magners is usually the worst amongst them. It's bland and watery. Fog, providing balance at this point, quite likes Magners. "It's a bit better nicer than Strongbow but I'm not sure if it's worth the extra money."

I placated myself while I drank my Magners with a mixed grill and Fog had a steak(Reader had Cajun Chicken and continued drinking JD and Coke.) While we ate we discussed the merits of strongbow on tap Vs. cans and also ice in cider. I try to avoid it if I can, the ice just annoys me. Fog likes how it keeps the drink cold but had the same problem with it that I do. Namely, the way it prevents you swigging or gulping your cider. The ice just gets in the way. Fog suggested the invention of a net that you place in the top of your pint glass. This would allow you to swig your drink and keeps the ice from getting in your mouth or cracking against your teeth etc.*

6. Bulmers

The regular, original, apple version of Bulmers was next up. I enjoyed it, it was sweet and went down easily. Fog in contrast said he found it quite it quite bland. By this point I was starting to feel quite 'refreshed' and people from work started turning up. After the Bulmers I began drinking unnecessary duplicate ciders. We'd sampled every cider The Rummer Tavern had to offer so I had little other option.

In addition my friend Kate was drinking Jack Daniels, neat, no ice. Figuring no one could say I hadn't had my fare share of cider I decided to try a JD myself. The trouble being that while Kate was slowly enjoying her drink with the cool sophistication of the Whisky swilling ad execs in the TV show Mad Men, as soon as I raised my glass to my lips, instinct took over, I jerked back my neck and downed it. Not big or clever. Nor pleasant. By this point I was confidently predicting that me and Fog could do not just 52 but 365 ciders in a year. That'll be a tough claim to live up to but on day 2 we are well on course.

When it reached closing time we headed on another pub The Penn and Wigg that stayed open a bit later where we met Fog's girlfriend Emma. I was pleased to have the opportunity to try yet another cider.

7. Weston's Premium Organic Cider

I enjoyed this cider a lot. I'll be honest, at this point I was beyond any sort of reasoned critical appraisal. I was merry, surrounded by good people, having a good time. I wasn't quite in Jilly Goolden mode. However, I have had this cider on several previous occasions and can assure you that it is a good cider. I don't remember Fog's thoughts at the time. So I asked him the next day. He smiled and nodded then paused. "...I remember drinking it..." We may have to revisit this one.

Shortly before closing time I bagan to feel a little ill. I went to the toilet and sat in a stall feeling dizzy until someone, probably a member of staff, came in and said it was chucking out time. I left, met my friends and headed outside. Still suffering from nausea and not sure that vertical was really suiting me I decided to lie down on the pavement for a bit. Due to certain accusations the morning after I feel I should make the following clear: I was not trying to sleep on the pavement. I just wanted to lie down for a bit.

My friends had other ideas. At least one of them began kicking me. I remember feeling that the kicking was a bit unnecessary. Anyway, Fog picked me up off the floor, he and Emma took me by the arms and before I could say any proper goodbyes to the others they were dragging me towards home, ignoring my protestations about how comfortable I was on the floor. They continued dragging me far beyond the point I had assured them I could walk on my own.

The evening's revelries has reminded me of some troubling things about my drinking habits. Things I has pushed to the back of my mind. Luckily I am usually what I would consider a good drunk. By which I mean, I don't usually get emotional, I never get aggressive. I get cheery and silly and tell people how great they are and not to go home. That said, I did apparently refer to Emma as, "that shit" at one point and the Fog accused me of telling shit jokes, which is odd because I don't remember saying anything that wasn't hilarious...**

More troubling is that I've reminded myself that I'm actually a bit of a lightweight. I simply cannot drink too much in one go. I'm a short, skinny guy. I literally have nowhere to put it all! I get drunk quickly and don't as a general rule sit around drinking pint after pint. I do love cider but generally after about two or three pints I switch to spirits with mixers. It's just less volume. If I do stick to pints I end up feeling pretty awful either in the morning or the middle of the night when I wake up with a killer headache and the queasy feeling of a stomach still full of swirling liquid. Fog can handle his drink a lot better than I can and I hope I'm not gonna end up holding him back at some point when we might be trying to fit a lot of different ciders into a brief trip to Bristol or Somerset or something. Troubling.

* Speaking to me the next day Fog asked, "Oh, remember that ice net we invented?" It's nice to be included because the idea came pretty much fully formed from Fog and I liked it but I cant take any credit. In any case, it's very much at the drawing board stage. I mean we talked about it but I'd like to see a working model before we can say it's actually been invented.

** The next day he was pressed for evidence of my crap jokes and couldn't remember any examples. Case closed.

The Cider Diaries-1/1/09

This year my friend, and co-presenter of my hospital radio show, Fog has set us a joint challenge. We are to sample fifty two different ciders in fifty two weeks, ie a year. The challenge was set live on air on our Sunday radio show and I happily accepted. In fact I was all set to start things off at the pub after the show but Fog was insistant that the challenge had to begin from the start of 2009 and we were still days away.

Nonetheless, while Fog seemed to think it was a difficult challenge, I am quietly confident that it'll be quite easy. In fact at this point I can see us managing 365 ciders this year. Hopefully we will meet halfway and complete our challenge about October. At which point will we stop? Will we 'eck as like! We'll see how many ciders we can sample before 2010.

I've been enthusiastically talking up the challenge to our mutual friends and one in particular has been keen to lend his support. Our friend Elliot has offered us a Welsh made cider that he bought at a farmer's market. His girlfriend Cath was dubious. "Don't give them that," she chided, "It tastes like iodine!" Still, the year is young, the challenge is fresh and I'm enthusiastic. Elliot if you're reading, bring it on!

Fog was working behind a bar on New Year's Eve which put paid to any plans to start our challenge in the early hours of the first January morning of the year. This evening, at Fog's flat for a meal with the lads was our first chance to start on the ciders. I thought about picking us up a couple of bottles of quality cider each on our way to Fog's flat but I had to have a re-think. I wasn't sure quite who would be at Fog's and it seemed a bit anti-social to exclude anyone else who might want to get involved in the appley goodness. So, instead, I went to the corner shop and picked up a two litre bottle of scrumpy.

I was right. As soon as I walked through the door I was greeted with the news that Fog's flatmate Ceri intends to join us in our challenge. He even had a plastic half yard to drink from. Cant fault the enthusiasm! Fine by me, the more the merrier! Although, the rules of the challenge dictate that we all have to sample the ciders together so now there are three of us to organise getting to pubs, buying bottles for etc. Anymore and it could get unmanageable. We are not the most organised bunch at the best of times.

Cider one: Strongbow
Fog had some cans of this in the fridge so we started with something obvious while the scrumpy was chilling in the fridge. I tried to get some analysis from the boys, some critisism or appraisal but Old School was on the DVD player and, 'it's nice,' was about the best I could get out of Fog and Ceri. Not to worry though. It's Strongbow. Anyone with any interest in cider at all had tried one and if you haven't it's easily available everywhere. It's the bog standard mass produced and mass consumed cider. Nothing special but reliable enough. What more can you say?

Cider two: Old Rascal
This bottle of somerset farmhouse cider features a picture of a merry, cider drinking farmer in a smock and Michael Eavis beard. It's a nice drop of scrumpy. "This tastes stronger than the 'Bow," Fog observed, "What is it? About 6%?" It was 6% exactly. An interesting developement. I wasn't aware that Fog had this skill but it could easiy develop into the sort of tedious guessing game that will make the long winter hours just fly by. Fog wasn't a big fan of the Old Rascal, finding it a bit dry. By this point We were watching Boyz In The Hood and it was difficult to get a response out of Ceri.


More to follow...