The Cider Diaries-16/1/09

I work two jobs. As well as working full time in a book shop I work the occasional evening, once or twice a week, at a local comedy club. No, I'm not a stand up comic, I wash dishes and clean floors but it's not a bad job in fact it's pretty good fun. The trouble is that sometimes I have to work two shifts in one day. I finish up at Borders then I walk down to Cardiff Bay where I work often past midnight. Not that I'm complaining but it doesn't leave much time in the day left for drinking cider. Especially if I have to round up Fog to drink it with me.

So, I had a good idea. Invite Ceri and Fog down to the club for an evening of comedy and then join them during the disco that follows to try the two ciders we haven't tried that they serve at the bar there. Brilliant! A work day not wasted without, or blighted by the lack of, cider. I explained this to my colleague James who asked, "You know those two ciders are horrible right?" I had to explain to him that wasn't really the point. Drinking as many different ciders as possible regardless of quality is the noble, glorious, heroic and slightly infantile nature of our quest.

Fog and Ceri enjoyed the show while I worked but on the plus side they were paying for jugs of Strongbow while I got free food in the staff room. Then, when I'd finished my shift I went and found them, delighted to discover that they already had a cider waiting for me.

25. Brothers Pear Cider
The Brothers Strawberry Mixed Pear Cider we tried last Sunday was already one of our lowest rated ciders so I wasn't holding out high hopes for this one. Nonetheless, I tried to approach it with an open mind so I can tell you honestly and fairly that Brother's Pear Cider is horrible. Fog, Ceri and I all agreed that it was a case of just getting through it, rather than actually enjoying the stuff. It tastes like paint stripper or nail varnish remover and the aftertaste is even worse!

26. Brothers Apple Cider
It was my turn to get the drinks in so I headed for the bar and ordered three of these. Keith behind the bar shook his head, looking at me with a mixture of amusement, disdain and pity. "That'll be £14.50 please."
"I'd like to tell you it's worth every penny," I told him, "but neither one of us would believe that!"

This cider initially tasted alright but I think that was only by comparison to what came before. It soon revealed itself to be pretty horrible in its own right. It's gassy and has an unatural taste, as though it's full of chemicals and additives, really synthetic and nasty. How awful for any youngster trying this stuff and imagining it to be representative of ciders in general.

I had been looking forward to this all day and it hadn't panned out so great. What was I expecting? I knew the ciders would be pretty rancid. Now here we were drinking rubbish ciders, listening to cheesy music that was too loud for us to talk without shouting, watching girls dance without the slightest intention of trying to join them.

It's not always easy this cider drinking business. But if just one person is put off drinking horrible, horrible Brothers ciders then it has all been worthwhile!