The Cider Diaries-26/1/09

I am very excited. I have had a BIG IDEA. In a fairly pathetic attempt to add some sort of suspense to this blog I'm not going to reveal the idea just yet, also it's best that I make sure it's actually workable first but if you're reading this because you know me and I see you at work/down the pub/in the street I will probably tell you the BIG IDEA anyway. Whether you want to hear it or not. I am that excited. I have been thinking hard about it and doing sums but for now all I can say is that our friend Mel is probably due a small share of the credit. More will be revealed when the time is right. In the meantime, might as well recap yesterday's drinking...

Me and Fog met in the pub after work for a pint. Our pub of choice was once again Koko Gorilaz. Emma is leaving on Thursday to travel abroad for months on end so it's nice for Fog to pop in and see her there while she does her last few shifts behind the bar. Unfortunatley we have, or so I thought, tried every cider Koko Gorilaz has to offer. Not to worry, for once it would be all about the company and having a relaxing drink and we could put the challenge on the back burner for a bit. At least until later that evening.

However, when we arrived at Koko's we discovered they has yet another untried cider. So while me, Fog and Emma put the world to rights the two of us who weren't supposed to be working enjoyed a bottle each of

41. Brothers Lemon Mixed Pear Cider
We've had our run ins with Brothers ciders before. This lemon flavoured one tastes pretty much the same as a Smirnoff Ice and as such is by far less horrible than any of the others Brothers ciders. Quite enjoyable in fact, refreshing.

But we couldn't stay for another, we had to get back to my place and start cooking. Late last year I bought myself the latest Jamie Oliver book, Ministry of Food, but I hadn't got around to reading it or cooking from it until last Thursday. The book has a recipe for a simple stew. It gives you a basic base of vegetables then four different combinations of meat and alcohol to add so that you can get four very different stews from one recipe.

The book is supposed to be idiot proof, with lots of pictures and step by step instructions, but clearly Oliver wasn't anticipating idiots of my calibre. Last Thursday I tried to make a beef and ale stew and I was delighted with how well it all came together and how closely the food in my pot resembled the pictures in the book. The last instruction was to put the stew in the oven for three hours, removing the lid thirty minutes from the end.

I put it in the oven and the cooking smells that began to emerge were something heavenly. I wanted to tuck in right away but I knew that I should be patient. After two and a half hours I yanked the pot out of the oven and pulled off the lid. To say I was disappointed by the contents was an understatement. Everything in the pot was dry and shrivelled with everything at the bottom horribly burnt. It didn't taste so good but having paid the money for ingredients I felt I had to make the best of it. I divided it into three portions and saved two for lunches at work. I realised afterwards my mistake. The oven times and temperatures in the book were not intended for a fan oven.

So I didn't much fancy a repeat performance with my next attempt to cook from the book, with Fog's help we would be cooking a *bonus cider related item*, a pork and cider stew. It was good to have Fog to help with the cooking. He's used to following instructions in the kitchen from Emma and was happy to do most of the actual chopping and stirring while I checked the instructions over and over as if I'd never seen them before. As we cooked we enjoyed a second cider.

42. Westerns Premium Organic Pear Cider
And very nice it was too. Fog, often dubious about pear ciders, took a swig and said, "That's not bad at all is it?" He sounded surprised. I can understand his attitude to ciders of the pear variety even if I don't quite share it. All too often the pear ciders we have tried taste somehow fake, as if crammed with artificial flavourings. This stuff on the other hand really tasted like something that originated in an orchard and was lovingly and patiently made into the drink we had in front of us by men who wouldn't know an artificial flavouring if it danced up and down in their dinner. Delicious it was too.

43. Thatcher's Katy
We sat down to our stew, which with a lower temperature and shorter cooking time had turned out just right, and enjoyed it with a bottle each of Thatcher's Katy. This just might be the nicest cider of all the ciders we've tried so far. It had a delicious, fruity, refreshing flavour. Sweet, with just a touch of sharpness.

Ask Fog what he thinks of Katy cider and he will invariably give you the following answer, "Katy goes down easy". After he'd done this a couple of times I asked if he actually thought that about the cider or if he was just enjoying the innuendo. "Both," he told me. It was indeed an easy drink, you wouldn't have guessed that it would be 7.4% and by this point I started to get a little tipsy.

As we ate I rhapsodised about Thatcher's Katy and came up with ever grander takes on my own BIG IDEA. The stew was delicious and so it should have been, it was made with the same cider. That said I couldn't really taste the cider in it too much. The taste of tomatoes dominated. In the beef and ale stew the ale flavour was much more prominent but then ale has a rich, dark flavour that cuts through the rest while the cider is lighter and more refreshing.

The Cider Diaries-25/1/09

Our regular Sunday lunchtime spot Koko Gorilaz had run out of ciders we hadn't yet tried. I was beginning to think that we would need to start finding a decent Sunday Roast elsewhere. Luckily Fog's live in lover Emma is working shifts at Koko Gorilaz to save up some money for her travelling. Even more luckily, she is a bit of a living legend.

In the back of the fridge, behind the bar upstairs, Emma spied two lonely bottles of cider that everyone else had forgotten was still there. Our friend Jamo, who also works there, kindly agreed to put them aside for me and Fog. Emma told Fog but I didn't know about it. Fog told me to go to the bar and ask for a surprise. Being a trusting sort of bloke I did just that. From behind the bar Jamo grinned at me, "I'll just go fetch it." and so it was that this afternoon, after our radio show me and Fog were able to enjoy...

38. Broadoak Pear Cider
This cider doesn't really taste alcoholic at all. You could easily believe that it was a fizzy, pear flavoured soft-drink. It's delicious and tastes more like pears than pears do but it's so sweet you can't drink more than one bottle of the the stuff without starting to feel slightly sick. Fog didn't like the smell but Ceri had a taste and described it as tasting like Peartize to which Fog agreed.

After this Ceri stayed at the pub to watch the football but me and Fog decided to leave. We picked up a cider to enjoy back at Fog's place and while it was chilling we enjoyed a cider Fog already had waiting for us.

39. Tillington Hills
I found this a bit unpleasant on first taste, slightly sour and noted that Fog also grimaced after sipping at it. "This isn't very nice is it?" he complained. I agreed but I thought it was just the contrast from the Broadoak. We drank some more, hoping to get used to it but Tillington Hills is probably the dryest cider I have ever come across. Fog complained that it wasn't going down easy and it took us a while to finish up this particular drink.

40. St. Helier Blueberry
Ceri arrived home in time for us all to try this next cider. Ceri poured his into a glass so we could all check out the colour of this blueberry flavoured pear cider. It was bright blue. Not the natural, purpley blue of an actual blueberry but a bright, unatural, sky blue. I began to suspect that Fog wouldn't like this cider. I was right. Fog didn't like it at all.

Ceri was a lot more postive, "It's not bad, I don't mind shit like this 'cos it's like WKD it's just easy to drink." It did taste like a sugary alcopop. It had a vague blueberry flavour, about as natural as the colour.

There was some writing on the label.

In days gone by, cider makers always kept

a corner of their orchard for growing pears.

They used this to produce a pear cider for

their family to enjoy, as they believed it to be

superior to apple cider. They were right.

There is no mention of whether the cider makers of 'days gone by' also preferred their cider full of synthetic colourings and flavourings.

The Cider Diaries-24/1/09

Last night was a leaving do for Fog's live in lover Emma who is going off travelling around the world for the next eight months. We were meeting at Fog's for a drink or two before heading to Incognitos for a few more. Keen to give Emma a good send off, I turned up at Fog's hand in celebratory mood with a new cider in hand.

36. Kingstone Press Cider
Kingstone Press wasn't anything very special as a cider. Ceri was in Barry for the night but neither me or Fog could get very excited about it. On the back of the bottle it bore the following paragraph:

The traditional type of CIDER PRESS was called a RACK & CLOTH press.

This was used to crush the POMACE and extract the APPLE JUICES

these CIDER JUICES were then left to FERMENT in their own WILD YEAST.

I'm not sure why the manufacture choose to highlight certain words and I'm not sure what a pomace is but I figured I'd include their words here as they probably constitute more actual information than I've ever put into the cider diaries before.

After we'd finished that it was time to head to Incognito. I wasn't optimistic that we'd find a new cider in this particular bar but it was Emma's night so I was in no position to call the shots. I was resigned to just enjoying the evening and forgetting about new ciders for the time being. So I was pleasantly suprised to find that there was indeed a new cider behind the bar.

37. Orchard Gold Award Traditional Farmhouse Welsh Cider

This cider must be some sort of relative of the Gold Medal Welsh cider that we tried a little while ago because it bore the same "Wind of The Dragon" slogan on the bottle. I really liked it but Fog wasn't so keen. "It's the taste at the side of my mouth, it's too dry."

"You're drinking it too slowly, swilling it around in your mouth too quickly," I told him. "Just get it along your tongue and down your neck." I took a bit of time over my next swig, trying to see what Fog was talking about. It did indeed have a different taste at the side of the both but I found it very tasty.

While we enjoyed our drinks we chatted to our new bestest mate James, a friend of Emma's who apparently helps to organise cider festivals in Gloucester. He recommended various ciders including a couple from Cornwall with particularly choice names, Wiggly Worm and Pig's Ear. Mind you, his cider of choice for the evening was Strongbow and black so I'm not really sure if he knows what he's talking about.

Apparently Wiggly Worm was originally made with a real worm in the bottom of each bottle but no longer. This is a relief if I'm honest but there is a part of me that thinks that finding the nerve to drink a cider with a worm in it might make for an entertaining diary entry. Get in touch if you know of such a cider, but I'm only looking for ciders that are usually served that way, I'm not interested in a bottle of Bulmers that's been tampered with.

Later on a group of us had a go on the 'Are You Smarter Than A Ten Year Old?' game on the bar's quiz machine. We lost quite heavily. Alright, maybe we aren't as smart as a ten year old but I'd like to ask any ten year olds this: How many different ciders have you tried this year?

I'm willing to conced that its possible a ten year old somewhere has had more than thirty seven different ciders this year but if they have then they probably have pretty awful, negligent parents so in a way me and Fog probably still win.

The Cider Diaries-19/1/09

At work on Monday I picked up a copy of Delia Smith's frugal food. I figure I could do with cooking some cheap meals, to free up more money for cider drinking. Then after work I met up with Fog to try a new cider. There's a microbrewery called Zero Degrees in town. Unfortunately, although they make a range of different beers including a very tasty mango beer they haven't had the sense to bother brewing their own cider. I'll forgive them though, if only because the single cider that they do serve is one that we hadn't seen elsewhere.

33. Gaymer's Orchard Reserve
This cider is served in a wine bottle, perfect for this slightly pretentious bar/restaurant but unfortunately the taste didn't live up to the classy packaging. It tasted pretty much like Magners. As such, I was disappointed but Fog enjoyed it well enough. While we drank I was looking over my new cookery book, seeing if I could find a decent recipe to cook for my dinner that night. I discovered, with some excitement, a recipe for sausages in cider sauce.

We decided we would go home and cook the cider-centric dish the same evening. But first Emma arrived and we headed on to Copa for another drink. Copa looked like quite a classy bar and I was expecting some sort of contemporary dance or chill out music to be playing so I was pleasantly suprised by the soundtrack of seventies soft rock inside, Wings, Elton John, Cockney Rebel etc.

I was just as pleased to find that they had three ciders I hadn't seen elsewhere. We will have to make a return visit there sometime as we only had time for one.

34. Aspall Draught Suffolk Cyder
I'd been looking forward to this for sometime. I had enjoyed several bottles of Aspall's cider last year and despite the dubious spelling Iremembered it as just about the best cider I'd ever tasted. It was a little sweeter than I remembered and I think Fog was a bit dissapointed after I had hyped it up to him so much. Nonetheless it was very nice with a distinctive apple flavour, not quite as 'incredible' as the label told us it would be.

We drank this and the Gaymer's Orchard Reserve over ice because Fog thinks we should go by serving suggestions whenever possible and apparently this includes bar staff asking, "Do you want a glass and ice?" It was really bugging me and we ended up having our most detailed discussion yet about the ice net for pint glasses. Fog has clearly given it a lot of thought but I don't want to give away too much in case anyone tries to steal the idea before Fog has the chance to patent it.

35. Devon Village Amber Cider
Having a live in lover has had more than just the obvious benifits for Fog. It means home cooked meals and well stocked cupboards so he already had all the ingredients we needed for the recipe except, ironically enough, the cider. We picked some up on the way back and then went home and cooked enthusiastically. Ceri was there but had already eaten and was also having a day off drinking which meant he turned down our generous offer of cider and dinner. Which was a bit rubbish of him lets face it.

Undetered, Fog and I served ourselves large portions of sausage with cider sauce on creamy mash. Alongside it, a pint each of the same cider we'd used for the cooking. Devon Village Amber Cider was another bog standard two litre plastic bottle full of bog standard cider. Perhaps it was an appropriate choice for cooking, because while there was nothing wrong with it you certainly wouldn't hold it back to enjoy as a drink. The food on the other hand was delicious and I wondered what it would be like made with an even finer cider.

The Cider Diaries-18/1/09

The morning after the night before...Me and Fog dragged ourselves up and out of (separate)bed(s) to get ourselves to the radio on time. I could still feel last night's cider sloshing around inside of me and despite Emma trying to persuade us to spend the afternoon feeding the ducks in Roath park I was in desperate need of some food. So, immediately after finishing the show we headed down to Koko Gorilaz for a Sunday roast and, predictably a cider. A glassy eyed Ceri had been drinking Stella all morning but he gamely joined us at the pub for food and cider.

31. Magners Light
Our cider of choice, i.e. the only one behind the bar we hadn't already tried, was not one I anticipated with much relish. To be honest, I didn't really fancy drinking any cider. I was still feeling a little delicate from the previous evening's drinking which had been mostly cider topped up with some deeply suspicious, unaturally pink 'punch'. But if I did have to have a cider, I would have preferred almost anything to this.

For a start, I'm not even a fan of Magners and I didn't expect Magners Light to hold any surprises for me. I considered arguing with Fog that it didn't count as a different cider. After all, the whole point of the stuff was to provide the same taste of Magners but fewer calories. If it's supposed to taste the same, what's the point in us sampling it?

But I knew deep down that it wouldn't taste the same. After all, Diet Coke tastes completely different to Coca-Cola doesn't it? It's no substitute. The diet stuff tastes somehow hollow and empty and I don't care how many calories it saves me I'm never going to enjoy it. So I was expecting the Magners light to taste worse than the regular Magners I already dislike. Thank God it comes in small bottles!

Sure enough, I was right, it was, Fog and Ceri agreed, worse than Magners. There was something deeply unpleasant about the taste that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I concentrated on enjoying my food and thinking about what ciders we might try later in the afternoon. By four o' clock we were just finishing up our desserts and I was thinking we could make a move back to the flat for cider sampling and to catch up with the cider diaries from the previous evening. Unfortunately at that point Geraint arrived, full pint in hand.

Not to worry, I thought, good to see the cunt. After he's had that we'll probably wander back to Fog's, pick up some cider on the way. It didn't quite pan out like that. Instead the others decided that a protracted game of darts was in order. This went on for some time. I hate darts. After we had all played killer I thought we'd be off but Fog and Emma decided to have a game of 500 or something like that. I'm sorry to any darts lovers but I really don't see the appeal of this game at all. Taking it in turns to throw pointy metal things at a colourful circle on the wall just doesn't appeal to me whatsoever. Nor is it any better as a spectator sport. I found myself watching not Fog and Emma or the dartboard but the electronic scoreboard, willing the numbers to get down to zero so that we could leave.

Eventually it was time to go but by now it was about half six and Fog and Emma were going out for a meal later on. There would only be time for one cider back at Fogs. I hoped it would be a good one.

32. Tesco Finest Single Varietal Cider
This one looked very nice but on first taste I wasn't very impressed. I said as much and Fog and Ceri were suprised at me, they were both enjoying it. After I had had a little more I had to admit that it was a good cider, with a strong, clear apple taste. Just a little dry for my tastes. Most cider fans would probably be very happy with it. But don't get any ideas about trying this one out for yourself. It's been discontinued. In fact we had to scour several supermarkets to find three bottles of the stuff. Special thanks to Emma who eventually found the second and third bottle in the big Tesco outside of town.

So, whatever you're drinking, raise a glass to a good cider that is no longer with us.

The Cider Diaries-Ceri's Party

Here are some cider related photos from Ceri's birthday party plus a bonus shot of Fog with a cigar and our friend Anna. Regardless of your views on smoking it is a well known fact that anyone looks instantly cool holding a big fat cigar. Fog is the exception that proves that rule.

The Cider Diaries-17/1/09

It was Ceri's birthday on Saturday so Fog and Ceri had a house party in their flat. I was pleased about this as it gave us the opportunity to celebrate the birthday of a good friend and let him know he's appreciated and we care about him and all that. Also, I suppose that it didn't hurt that it was a chance to try some new ciders. I was working late so I arrived to find a party already in full swing, Fog had a some cold ciders ready to go so we got straight down to it.

27. Churchwards Fruit and Cider, Cranberry and apple cider
This was yet another cider with a pinky purple hue and Fog was understandably concerned but even he had to admit that it actually tasted of genuine cranberrys, not pink flavourings. It was an enjoyable drink, light and refreshing but not one to impress cider lovers to be honest. There just wasn't much there behind the cranberry taste.

While we enjoyed this first cider of the evening my attention was drawn to a *Bonus Cider Related Item*. Fog's live in lover Emma had baked some gluten-free cider and apple cakes. I was dubious about these at first because I was pretty sure the cider Emma used had been sat around going flat for about six days but the cakes were moist and tasty with a subtle but distinctive cider flavour.

The only pity is someone had clearly stuck candles into the centre of the cakes and there was some melted wax in the top of each. Even though I was only eating around the edges I was sure that I was going to end up with a mouth full of wax and this put me off a bit but that's my own paranoia and in no way a reflection on the quality of Emma's baking.

Cath and Elliot were also at the party. I mentioned them in one of the really early cider diary entries. When they heard about our plan to drink so much cider they had offered us a cider they had picked up at a farmer's market. Actually, as I recall Elliot offered it and Cath tried to warn us that it smelt and quite possibly tasted of iodine. Elliot was keen for us to try this cider and it was fetched as soon as we finished the cranberry stuff.

28. Drunk Dewi
Elliot had in fact already given the cider to Fog and it was chilling in the fridge but Fog now gave it back to Elliot so that much could be made of the handing over of the cider. There were handshakes, photos were taken.* There was only one bottle of Drunk Dewi for me, Ceri and Fog to share between us but I was relieved to see that it did at least come in a bottle. After the descriptions we had heard of the stuff, I was half expecting a plastic petrol container with "cider" scrawled on the side in permanent marker. Drunk Dewi had a proper glass bottle with a label showing a dragon drinking. Fog pointed out to me that it did have the percentage scrawled on it pen. I think it was about 6.4%.

Fog opened the cider and took a sniff, "It's not as bad as I expected. Smell it." I approached the bottle but Fog whipped it away, grinning. "No, don't smell it!" Clearly then, I reasoned, the stuff must smell every bit as awful as we had been promised. I poured it out into three little plastic cups. It was very cloudy, opaque in fact and, worse, flat. I've never been a fan of flat ciders so I wasn't much looking forward to this one.

We began to drink and it seemed just about everyone wanted a sip. Our friend Mel said it tasted like the cider apples had been trampled to juice by someone with smelly feet. I told her she was being generous, that it looked, smelled and tasted like it had already passed through someone else's digestive system.

Actually though, it wasn't all that bad. Far from a favourite and without a face not my thing at all but it didn't have an unpleasant aftertaste or anything and after taking Cath's advice and holding my nose for the first gulp I found I could sip away at the rest quite happily. Fog didn't like the smell but coped with it just as well while Ceri thought it was horrible and had to down it to get it finished.

29. Jacques Cider with Fruit Orchard Fruits

This cider comes in a glass bottle that is about the size of a wine bottle. I would compare the flavour to something like a Shloer or Appletizer. Very light, very refreshing, very fruity. If you're looking for a non-alcohol alternative for wine this would fit the bill. Except that it's got alcohol in it. So it's pretty much pointless but quite pleasant all the same. Fog didn't mind it either but by this point people were trying to make Ceri drink punch through a funnel and I don't recall pinning down his definitive views on this one.

30. Hereford Orchard Farmhouse Dry Cider
This was my contribution to the evening. This cider was a fairly standard three litre, green plastic bottle number and it probably tasted fairly generic but to be honest I don't remember much about it. It was nothing special. I can tell you that I drank two whole pints of it, which is more than I did of anything else that night but that's probably a reflection of what was left to drink, rather any personal preference being exercised.

*Most of these were taken by our lovely friend Anna, I think. Later on that night she had her finger broken and she did want a mention in the cider diaries so maybe this will salvage some good from the evening for her.

Bored of Obama...

Alright, I know, I know. He's better than Bush and he's hopefully do some great stuff over the next four years but he's everywhere! He's on the front of every publication from Spiderman to Men's Health. Plus everyone is so sickeningly upbeat and positive about him! I haven't heard a decent joke about the guy. Not only that but everyone is trying to twist Obamamania for their own ends.

Tonight me and a few friends went to see a film at Cineworld(The Wrestler if you're wondering and yeah, it was pretty good). We were stood outside afterwards discussing the film we'd just seen when a cocky looking blonde guy approached us. "Alright guys? Having a good night?" He asked. "You know what today is don't you?"

I figured there were too options, either he was one of those slightly irritating, genuinely friendly, outgoing people who will approach strangers in the street and strike up a conversation or his friends weren't far off and he was planning to mock/humilate us somehow for their amusement. Best not to humour him either way but I was curious. "No. What's today?"
"It's the inaugoration! If you're up for a good time we're having a celebration next door,"*indicates bar,*"It's only five pounds entry and we'll be playing some great African Beats".

Aha, so not an overfriendly stranger, just an arrogant cock end trying to drum up trade for a club night. Alright, maybe you're thinking I'm being harsh. He's just doing his job after all. Don't get me wrong, I can sympathise with that. After all, I've been outside flyering in the cold before now, trying to get people off the streets and into a bookshop. But the think is that you weren't there and I was. So you'll have to take my word for it when I tell you, he really did come across as an arrogant cock end. "Barack Obama's going to change the world. It's great, he's bringing people together, breaking down boundaries, getting over the differences between different denominations, that's why we're throwing this celebration tonight." So, not to sell overpriced drinks then?

One of my friends tried to fob him off, "I would but I'm working in the morning so..."
"Oh, I'm working tomorrow mate. I've gotta drive back tomorrow morning, then I'm working eight hours at London Victoria, dealing with customers, talking to Northern Wankers..."
"It's good, isn't it?" I interupted him, "Barack Obama is breaking down boundaries, bringing people together regardless of race or nationality. Just as long as we all remember, Northerners are still cunts!"
"Ah, right," Smug smile frozen on smug face, "You noticed...that's very..."
"Let's head off, yeah?"

The Cider Diaries-16/1/09

I work two jobs. As well as working full time in a book shop I work the occasional evening, once or twice a week, at a local comedy club. No, I'm not a stand up comic, I wash dishes and clean floors but it's not a bad job in fact it's pretty good fun. The trouble is that sometimes I have to work two shifts in one day. I finish up at Borders then I walk down to Cardiff Bay where I work often past midnight. Not that I'm complaining but it doesn't leave much time in the day left for drinking cider. Especially if I have to round up Fog to drink it with me.

So, I had a good idea. Invite Ceri and Fog down to the club for an evening of comedy and then join them during the disco that follows to try the two ciders we haven't tried that they serve at the bar there. Brilliant! A work day not wasted without, or blighted by the lack of, cider. I explained this to my colleague James who asked, "You know those two ciders are horrible right?" I had to explain to him that wasn't really the point. Drinking as many different ciders as possible regardless of quality is the noble, glorious, heroic and slightly infantile nature of our quest.

Fog and Ceri enjoyed the show while I worked but on the plus side they were paying for jugs of Strongbow while I got free food in the staff room. Then, when I'd finished my shift I went and found them, delighted to discover that they already had a cider waiting for me.

25. Brothers Pear Cider
The Brothers Strawberry Mixed Pear Cider we tried last Sunday was already one of our lowest rated ciders so I wasn't holding out high hopes for this one. Nonetheless, I tried to approach it with an open mind so I can tell you honestly and fairly that Brother's Pear Cider is horrible. Fog, Ceri and I all agreed that it was a case of just getting through it, rather than actually enjoying the stuff. It tastes like paint stripper or nail varnish remover and the aftertaste is even worse!

26. Brothers Apple Cider
It was my turn to get the drinks in so I headed for the bar and ordered three of these. Keith behind the bar shook his head, looking at me with a mixture of amusement, disdain and pity. "That'll be £14.50 please."
"I'd like to tell you it's worth every penny," I told him, "but neither one of us would believe that!"

This cider initially tasted alright but I think that was only by comparison to what came before. It soon revealed itself to be pretty horrible in its own right. It's gassy and has an unatural taste, as though it's full of chemicals and additives, really synthetic and nasty. How awful for any youngster trying this stuff and imagining it to be representative of ciders in general.

I had been looking forward to this all day and it hadn't panned out so great. What was I expecting? I knew the ciders would be pretty rancid. Now here we were drinking rubbish ciders, listening to cheesy music that was too loud for us to talk without shouting, watching girls dance without the slightest intention of trying to join them.

It's not always easy this cider drinking business. But if just one person is put off drinking horrible, horrible Brothers ciders then it has all been worthwhile!

The Cider Diaries-14/1/09

Last night me and Fog were off to a gig at Cardiff Barfly but beforehand there was time to squeeze in a couple of ciders at a Weatherspoons. So, I'll get straight to the point.

23. Gwynt Y Ddraig(Gold Medal Medium Cider)
This Welsh cider is 7%, comes in a bottle with a picture of a dragon holding a tankard and won an award from Camra the real ale people in 2004. I was a little worried, I thought this might mean it would taste strong and rough. I'm not really a real ale kinda guy. When I do drink beer, which is seldom, it'll be a lager and lime made with Fosters or Carling or something.

So I was pleasantly surprised when I took a sip of this cider that was pleasantly bubbly and sweet with a strong apple flavour. It tasted very light for a 7% cider. I really liked it. Fog was unconvinced. "Initially the taste is very nice on the top of your tongue but the aftertaste releases juices in the side of your mouth which take away from it a bit." Which was a bad thing apparently. Fog's really beginning to fancy himself as a bit of an expert. Nevermind, I'll be going back for another of those sometime. But not for a while yet. There are plenty of other ciders to try first.

It was my round and when I asked Fog what he fancied trying next he said it was up to me. I had to double check, "You're sure your happy for me to pick the next one?"
"Yeah, fine." he replied casually, so I headed for the bar with a smirk. The regret was written all over Fog's face when I returned from the bar holding two bottles of...

24. Kopparberg Winter Fruits
Like its cousin Kopparberg Pear, the bottle for Kopparberg Winter Fruits comes in a bottle that bears the legend, 'Genuine Swedish Cider'. I think this. It suggests that somewhere out there people are going to the trouble of counterfeiting Swedish cider. Why they would do this is beyond me but good luck to them I say.

"I can smell the pink from here," Fog complained. Like the Brother's Strawberry Mixed Pear Cider this stuff tasted more like a soft drink than a cider, although it was more like a Robinson's fruit squash than cherryade. Even Fog had to admit, "It's about twenty times better than that stuff we had on Sunday." I like making Fog drink weird, sweet, fruit based ciders but it's not as much fun as discovering something really lovely.

I was hoping we'd be able to add to our list in the Barfly because the last few times we visited the place in 2008 we had a pear cider I'd never seen anywhere else. Sadly however the obscure cider had been forced out by Bulmers pear(or was it Magners Pear?) so we were out of luck. They had a couple more in Dempsey's after the gig but by that time I'd partaken of a few vodka and cokes and I didn't think I could do any new cider justice. Still, it's another two for the list and more to come later in the week unless things go very badly wrong!

The Cider Diaries-Sian and Strongbow...

Here are the photos of Sian drinking Strongbow from the other night. Cherish these photos. They picture Sian drinking cider and as such are unique in the whole of the internet...

The Cider Diaries-13/1/09

Yesterday Sian decided it was time that she bit the bullet and tried a pint of cider. It's been eight years since she last had a whole pint of the stuff, way back when she was fourteen and ever since she says that cider 'tastes of hangover'.

So after work a few of us went to the local Weatherspoons pub for dinner and drinking. Sian had been enthusastic all day but when we got to the pub she had begun to lose her nerve. "It doesn't have to be tonight, we've got all year," I told her, secretly hoping that tonight would be the night. I tried to suggest a couple of different approaches. Maybe she could ease her way in with a pear cider first? Or perhaps a Snakebite and Black would be the way to go? But no, Sian thought it was best to go straight for the appley stuff.

I tried to select a decent bottle from Weatherspoon's modest selection of ciders but Sian felt that if she was gonna do it, she should have a pint. Which limited us to Strongbow. I was dubious if I'm honest. It might've been wiser to get Sian back to mine or Fog's place and introduce her to a bottle of something really delicious like Frome Valley Henny's. Still, I didn't want to discourage her while she was enthusiastic and sometimes you have to seize the moment. I decided to go for the same thing in solidarity. Afraid that the cider would leave her a drunken mess, Sian insisted I bought myself two shots to make sure I wasn't falling behind in the drunken states. It's better to be drunk in drunken company after all.

When I returned with the drinks Sian plunged right in, her forehead crinkling with displeasure as she took a large swig. It was a good effort. None of the dubious sniffing and cowardly sipping which would've been my approach to the task. Unsuprisingly she wasn't very impressed on first taste but a few swigs later she said, "It tastes like apple juice doesn't it? It's actually quite nice!" "Yes," I beamed, "It is isn't it?"

My joy at making a cider convert was short lived. Perhaps I should have snatched the pint away, left her wanting more? By the time she was about half way down the glass she'd reverted to her previous standpoint and was clearly not enjoying it at all. To be honest I can't say I blame her. Usually I drink a fair amount of Strongbow but this was only my second pint of the stuff in 2009 and I wasn't enjoying it that much myself. I think I've been spoiled by all the more interesting ciders I've been drinking of late. I wonder if I'll go back to drinking it regularly once the challenge is complete?

Sian text a friend to say she was drinking a pint of cider and got the reply, "Be Careful!" Clearly the memories of fourteen year old Sian's cider odyssey live long in the memory. Sian drained her pint and it felt like she'd really achieved something. I was proud of her. She made me take a photograph of the empty glass as proof, despite my protestations that an empty glass isn't proof of anything. Hopefully I'll be able to get hold of the photos and stick them in this blog shortly.

Anyway, congratulations are in order Sian has managed to drink her first and, she thinks, last cider of the year. (Her facebook status currently reads, 'Sian is not a cider drinker, despite all best efforts!) We shall see...

Still,

The Cider Diaries-11/1/09

Fog and I went to The Social for lunch after our radio show. The Social is the one pub we go to more than any other so while we're keen to drink lots of ciders, quickly, we don't want to drink every cider they have to offer right away or every time we drink there will be a drink that isn't a new cider we could be drinking elsewhere. So we put a new rule in place. We can only count one cider a week at The Social towards the challenge.

This week, to enjoy with our usual Sunday roast, I selected...

21. Brother's Strawberry Mixed Pear Cider
Fog pulled a face after his first swig. "This is horrible. It tastes of pink." I knew what he meant, there was no real taste of pear there and the strawberry was clearly synthetic. I didn't actually think it was that bad but I certainly couldn't recommend it as a cider. You couldn't taste any alcohol in it. It was like drinking a bottle of cherryade. Alright in its place but it doesn't compliment a roast dinner if I'm honest. Fog disliked it so much that he actually had to go and buy a lemonade to drink halfway through his pint before he could finish the cider.

22. Upcider Premium Pear Cider
We picked up three bottles of this Finnish cider on the way back to Fog's place where Ceri was waiting for us. At first I thought it tasted alright, not dissimilar to it's European cousin Kopparberg but the more I drank the less I enjoyed it. We all noted a rather unpleasant aftertaste. "It's got a bit of a tang to it," Ceri said thoughtfully, adding, "I'm gonna have to down the rest of this now just to get it finished."

Fog has promised that there are some graphs on the way so hopefully I will be able to add those to the blog shortly. Apparently we have now completed 6% of the challenge in 3% of the allotted time.

The Cider Diaries-Scores on The Doors

9. White Star Fog=15 Chris=15

10. Merrydown Slightly Sparkling Vintage Dry Cider Fog=81 Chris=45

11. Keane's Fog=71 Chris=66

12. Frome Valley Henney's Fog=77 Chris=82

13. Woodgate Dry Cider Fog=50 Chris=33

14. Sainsburys Basics Cider Fog=39 Chris=24

15. Thatchers Coxs Single Varietal Cider Fog=86 Chris=78
16. The End's Mulled Cider Fog=70 Chris=70
17. Kopparberg Pear Fog=60 Chris=64
18. Olde English Medium Dry Cider Fog=66 Chris=41
19. Gaymers Original Cider Fog=73 Chris=39
20. Eridge Vale Fog=56 Chris=44

The Cider Diaries-9/1/09

I knew Ceri was planning to buy a cider for us to drink, where else, at fog and Ceri's house last night. That would keep us up to speed at two a day so i figured i wouldn't have to buy any myself. But when fog text me saying he would be buying a cider i knew it would look bad if i turned up empty handed. So, no strong stuff for us and moderation was the order of the day. Me and Ceri sensibly stuck to 4.5% ciders while wild and crazy fog went out on a limb at 5%.

Sian came along for the sociability but didn't feel she was quite ready for the cider. 'i think i need to be in the right frame of mind, i'm feeling a little hungover at the moment.' fair enough, we'll let her build up to it at her own speed. Maybe just being around cider drinkers will help?

18. Olde english medium dry cider
Ceri quite liked this cider but fog thought it had a bit of an unpleasant after taste. It wasn't horrible but i feel like at this point i've come to expect better. Olde english is made by gaymers and william gaymer's signature is right there on the can. Which is funny, because gaymers also make the horrible white star cider we had the other day but he doesn't seem to want to put his signature to that one. In fact we could only find the word gaymers in tiny writing on the back of the bottle. Speaking of gaymers...

19. Gaymers original cider
As soon as he tasted this fog let out a sigh and declared, 'that's better'. In fact fog and Ceri both liked this one but i found it a bit sweet and syrupy. That's about all there is to say about this one.

20. Eridge vale Cider
Sian misread the label on this one and thought it was called Eridge value. Not entirely inappropriate. Fog: "I tried to find the most expensive two litre bottle i could because i thought it would probably be nicer. This was £2.99 but when i got it home I realised it was three litres so this is probably pretty nasty.' sure enough this dry cider wasn't great. Fog pondered for a while before offering, "it has a very front of the mouth flavour." Ten days in and fog is already getting slightly pretentious. The annoying thing is he was right. It did have a very front of the mouth flavour.

The Cider Diaries-8/1/09

My friend and colleague Sian made a confession to me at work today. "I can't drink cider, I haven't been able to since I was fourteen." This came as something of a surprise to me but what followed pretty much made my day. "I thought in the spirit of your challenge I should try to drink a pint of cider. But not when I've got work the next day. I don't know what happens when I drink cider anymore."

This is brilliant! Eight days in and already our challenge is inspiring others to drink and enjoy ciders. I've been thinking about this. Should I be advising her on what cider to try? And if so what would I recommend? Maybe I could buy her a bottle of something I think is particularly tasty. Or maybe she'd prefer to choose her own bloody cider? Who knows? Anyway, in my excitement I forgot to ask Sian what happened to put her off cider when she was 14...

Me and Reader met Fog and Emma in The End this evening unsure if there would be any ciders on offer that we hadn't already tried. Imagine my delight when I saw the words "Mulled Cider £1.50 a glass" written on a chalkboard at the bar. Fog was equally impressed, even more so when we were told to sit down and our drinks would be brought over to us.

The three glasses,(Reader abstained) arrived steaming, with a mixture of almonds and orange floating on the cider's surface. It looked and smelled delicious. I felt like I was very nearly a genuine drinks expert, taking in the aroma and picking up cinnemon and citrus in there. We each took a sip but before we could discuss the flavour we got sidetracked by something that was very nearly an argument.

We has asked at the bar and found out that the mulled cider was made with Strongbow. While I was perfectly happy to try the mulled cider, to discuss it and enjoy it as part of the wider cider appreciation experience, I didn't feel that we could fairly add this to our list as a new cider. After all, we'd already done Strongbow. You can heat it up and put bits in it all you want, it's still Strongbow.

Fog, Emma and even Reader, who doesn't even drink cider, were adamant that it should count. I stubbornly fought my corner and we appeared to be stuck in a sort of stalemate until Fog made the following gambit. "If we agree that The End's Mulled Cider counts as a new cider then we can officially extend the challenge from 52 to 365 ciders." I was dubious.
"We've already agreed that if we get to 52 we're not gonna stop, we keep going. You agreeing the aim is 365 doesn't make any difference."
"No, because if we get to 52 I'll not be as motivated. I'll be happy that I've completed 52. If we say the challenge is 365 I'll be pushing for us to drink more ciders more often and really aiming to hit that target."

I was surprised at Fog. 52 is beginning to look like it will be all to easy. How could he be really happy with such a relatively feeble acheivement. Would he really take his foot off the gas after that? He maintained that he would be happy that he had accomplished what he set out to do. He would have reached the target he set himself. But I had the power to extend that target. Let's face it, Fog had got my number on this one. I really didn't want to settle for 52. I wanted more and I wanted Fog to want more. The challenge would surely be easier with both of us aiming high? So....


16. The End's Mulled Cider
The End's Mulled Cider was sweet and warm, I thought it tasted almost more of orange than it did of apples but Emma disagreed. "It tastes like warm apple sauce," she said, later adding, "It's like a dessert, like apple strudel." Not a bad comparison. Fog agreed that it was delicious although he didn't like the bits floating in it. Once again he raised the idea of a net to put in the top of his glass.

I was very tempted to order a second glass of this lovely stuff but I couldn't. Not when there was another cider behind the bar still to try.

17. Kopparberg Pear Cider
This is probably the most common pear cider in pubs and supermarkets. A little sweet but very tasty with a good strong pear flavour. Fog described it thus, "It's like there's a sliding scale with pears on one end and cider on the other and this is more towards the pear side." Make of that what you will.

The Cider Diaries-7/1/09

I invited Fog and Emma over for a roast dinner this afternoon. "Would you like me to bring anything?" Fog asked me on the phone.
"Erm...No, I think I've got everything I need". I hadn't bought any cider but I didn't ask Fog to bring any. Both of us were going to the cinema later in the day so I figured maybe drinking all afternoon would be a mistake.

Having said that, as I peeled my potatoes and stirred my gravy I found myself hoping that Fog had gone ahead and bought a new cider anyway. It's beginning to get a bit addictive this cider drinking. Not in the dangerous, alcoholism sense of the word. More in the slightly geeky, obsessive way that people get addicted to Second Life or collecting Top Trumps cards. It's very possible that I am a cider slugging equivalent of those people who meet up in parks dressed as elves for fantasy role play or queue round the block to meet someone who was once in an episode of Doctor Who.

Luckily Fog was clearly of a similar mindset because he had indeed bought a cider. Not only that, he'd been sensible and bought something in a green glass one litre bottle. The sort of thing that looks like it might be tasty with a meal and wouldn't spoil your evening if you drank it in moderation in the afternoon.

15. Thatchers Coxs Single Varietal Cider
I would've expected a comma in there somewhere but not according to the bottle. Anyway, it's a nice, sweet refreshing cider that goes very nicely with a roast chicken if you're doing one. Emma reckoned it was, 'halfway between a mass produced cider and a vintage one' and Fog was chucking around the phrase 'oak aged'. It doesn't say oak aged on the bottle. I'm not sure if he actually knows what he's talking about or if he was just trying to look clever.

The Cider Diaries-6/1/09

Firstly, a couple of corrections. Emma is a bit upset about a couple of things I've written in this blog and I want to make sure I keep her onside so that Fog is still allowed to come out and play with me. Firstly, she has objected to my description of her as, "Emma, Fog's girlfriend". Apparently the agreed and accepted term to use for her is Fog's live in lover. So sorry for that Emma, live in lover it will be from now on.

Secondly, Emma was miffed that I credited Fog with the word, 'Pider,' as an abbreviation for pear cider. "He wouldn't even know that word if it wasn't for me. He only learned it earlier that same day when I told him." Personally, I don't think it's a good enough word to bother fighting over the credit but I'm happy to correct myself and say that Fog didn't come up with the word, he learned it from Emma. Now, back to the cider...

I was on my way home from work and on my way to Fog's house for more cider drinking when I was struck by a dilemma. Fog had told me that he had picked up two different ciders in Sainsburys. Two ciders would be plenty to keep our ratio up and I hadn't bothered with getting hold of any myself. Then I remembered the fuss I made about Fog not getting any new ciders in only a few days ago. That had led to the regrettable White Star drinking.

It seemed like a good idea to make sure I didn't give Fog an excuse to make me drink something awful. So I really did think I should pick up a cider of some description. On the other hand, I didn't have a whole lot of money in my pockets and I wanted to keep enough back to buy something to eat later on.

Then I passed Lidl and remembered something that Psychics Dave had told me the day before. Lidl do a cider called Woodgate Dry that costs just £1.75 for two litres. What a stroke of luck, this cider was ideal for my purposes. Plus, at that price it would surely be the best value cider by volume that we could possibly find, maybe for the entire challenge....

When I got to Fogs, almost the first thing he said to me was, "I'm dissapointed you've brought some cider." I was perturbed. Another cider can only be a good thing when we're trying to drink as many as possible. More to the point, I had never expected to hear Fog say that sentence under any circumstances. Fog, dissapointed to see more cider? It seems to go against the very essence of Fogginess. "I might tell you why later," he said, smirking.

Then he produced the first cider, handing me and Emma a clear glass bottle each. "These were on a deal when you buy two, so I got four so Ceri could have one but..." Click! We heard the click of a lock turning and the front door was pushed open, someone started to make their way up the stairs. With perfect timing, Ceri had arrived home to claim his cider, just before Fog could complain he wasn't in again.

Since his no show at the pub the other day you may have noticed that Ceri has been notable by his absence from this blog. He's been staying in or else spending time with his girlfriend, the traitor. To be honest, I've been dissapointed in him. Now however, I was impressed with his enthusiasm and seriousness. He found himself a small notebook and pen and made a note of each of the ciders Fog and I had tried without him. Then he strapped the pen to the notebook with a red elastic band so that he could carry it with him at all times and tick each cider off as he goes. While he was doing all this the four of us cracked on with the first cider of the evening.

12. Frome Valley Henney's
The first thing that caught my eye about this cider was the word Frome. My housemate Matt is from somewhere called Frome but I'm not sure if the Frome Valley is in Frome or if they're two entirely different places. I will have to ask him next time I see him. Either way this cider is delicious. It's six percent but doesn't taste strong, and it's lightly sparkling without being gassy. You could swig the stuff like it was apple juice. In fact we pretty much did swig it like apple juice, taking no time in polishing off our bottles. Ceri even suggested he might be able to down it in one with a bottle bong, something he can't do with gassier ciders like Strongbow. When me, Fog and Ceri expressed our delight at the flavour Emma said that she preffered the taste of more mainstream, mass produced ciders, saying this had more of a vintage cider taste but she probably finished her bottle of Henney's quicker than any of us.

Afterwards Ceri impressed me again by pouring himself the rest of the Golden Valley Dry cider that had been sat going flat for several days in Fog and Ceri's living room. "That is horrible, it's actually making me feel sick," he informed us. Not suprising really. "Why," he wondered out loud, "Did we have to have the nicest cider first?" Then Fog, returning from the kitchen with a large plastic bottle, explained his earlier dissapointment.
"I was hoping you wouldn't bring any cider with you today, so I could punish you by making you drink this. He showed me the bottle. Two litres of Sainsbury's basics cider. I think he was hoping for mild alarm at the sight of this presumably nasty, dirt cheap cider but I was strangely pleased. "I've never seen anyone look so excited about something with the words, 'Sainsburys Basics' on it." Ceri informed me.

My first thought was to do a price comparison. "My cider cost £1.75 for two litres, yours?"
"£1.20." That was that. The cider I had expected to be the cheapest in our entire challenge had been superceded the very same evening by Fog's basics cider. We decided to save the cheapest until last.

13. Woodgate Dry Cider
I raised my pint glass to my lips and before I could taste it discovered to my alarm that it smelt pretty horrible. luckily it didn't taste too bad. It was very mild. Fog complained immediately that it was so bland you could hardly taste it but I was just relieved it didn't taste as nasty as its scent might indicate.

While we drank this one I explained to Fog the rules of Edward Ciderhands. His immediate response was to ask how you would go to the toilet. This reassured me somewhat. Good to know that this is the natural reaction and not just me suffering from some sort of weird bladder fixation. Emma suggested that you could get someone else to help you with unzipping your fly etc. I pointed out that I didn't know anyone who would want to assist me in that way. Actually, I think I'm quite glad that I don't know anyone that would want to perform such a demeaning task for my benifit.

Ceri came up with a slightly better solution. "It's all about how you dress," he said.
"Incontinence pants?" I asked.
"No, what you do is, you go commando and you wear some sort of elasticated jogging trousers or lounging pants that you can just pull down using your wrists. Then you can sit on the toilet as well, so you don't have to worry about aim." For a moment we thought that the problem was solved, until I pointed out that once you had taken your trousers down, they'd be tricky to pull back up again.
"Trust me," Fog said, "you may not know anyone who wants to help you go for a piss but if you came in here with your trousers round your ankles and your cock out someone would pull them back up again."


14. Sainsburys Basics Cider
Some first reactions:-

Me-"That's not pleasant."
Fog-"Urgh!!!"
Ceri-"I have to say, that cider is horrendous."

It was strange. This cider didn't smell as bad as the Woodgate cider had done but it tasted much worse. On the other hand, it left basically no aftertaste. You could take a swig and a few seconds later you would find it hard to believe you had been drinking anything stronger than water. You could actually use the stuff as a palate cleanser.

By this point we were all beginning to feel a bit tired and it was time for me to head home, with three more ciders under our belts it had been a productive evening.

The Cider Diaries-5/1/08

Not much to add to The Cider Diaries today as it's the first day this year that me and Fog didn't meet up and drink a new cider.

I imagine there will be many other days like this, probably best to give our livers a rest from time to time.* I don't intend to document each and every one of them but I thought the very first day without cider was worth a passing mention. We can afford a day off, we're doing well on course. But there is a small part of me that can't stop thinking that yesterday we were on eleven ciders in four days and now it's only eleven ciders in five days. Rubbish! I'm itching to drink just one more cider and keep our ratio up. Still, got to let Emma have Fog to herself every now and again if nothing else.

The other day I was talking to my friend Sam about the challenge and he told me about a drinking game he once played called Edward Ciderhands. I'd never heard of it before but apparently you tape a two litre bottle of cider to each hand and you're not allowed to take them off again until you've finished drinking the contents.

To me, this game sounds bloody difficult. To be honest, I'm not a big drinker and I'm not sure I can drink four litres of cider in one evening. How much is that in pints? What's more, I'm pretty much certain that I can't drink four or even two litres of cider without needing to go for a pee. I can imagine trying to go to the toilet while half cut with a large plastic bottle taped to each hand is a bit tricky.

I've given it some thought and I think that the only option would be to undo my fly and pop my member out of my trousers before I begin, so that when the need arises I can just stagger over to the toilet, point myself in the right direction without the aid of my hands and hope for the best. When I wasn't actually peeing, I would simply be sat around drinking cider with my cock out. All of which seems a bit unpleasant, undignified and not very sociable. Unless I can come up with a better strategy than that I will not be suggesting to Fog that we give Edward Ciderhands a try.

*In fact, my housemate just offered me a glass of whiskey and I politely turned him down. Aren't I a good boy?

The Cider Diaries-4/1/09

I was pretty cheerful last night, writing The Cider Diaries at Fog's house. I was enjoying cider and chat with friends and I was sat on a comfortable sofa. Nevertheless, Fog had done something, or rather neglected to do something, that annoyed me a little. You see, when he said he was inviting people round for a few drinks at his place I figured he'd have at least one new cider ready and waiting for us to try. This assumption was based not only on my own appetite for the task ahead but on the knowledge that there is a corner shop selling ciders we have yet to try about thirty seconds from Fog's front door.

However, when I arrived I was informed that Fog hadn't bothered with any new ciders because, "We've still got cans of strongbow in the fridge." That may well be the case but Strongbow will keep. Drinking the Strongbow isn't going to do us any favours in the challenge. He can drink up the Strongbow when I'm not around. As it was, we only tried one new cider last night, the one I brought with me, when I was hoping for two or three.

So, this morning I decided I needed to punish Fog by making him drink something unpleasant. Unfortunately, the very nature of this challenge means that if Fog is drinking an unpleasant cider then so am I. I would live to regret my vindictiveness....

White cider. Those two words alone are enough to provoke a rush of nostalgia in anyone who lived their teenage years in Britain. If you weren't swigging it in parks with your mates you knew people who were. Personally, I preferred an illicit mixture of stolen spirits from the drinks cabinet, mixed with blackcurrent cordial, to disguise the drink in case the police show up but also to disguise the flavour.

White cider is not a drink that people drink because they enjoy it. They drink it to get pissed. Back when I worked part time in an off licence I regularly sold the stuff to local tramps and alcoholics and refused to sell it to underage kids. I once made the observation that no one who owns their own home drinks white cider and I'd hate to prove that observation wrong now. Luckily both me and Fog are only renting so it's fine.

I was up early in plenty of time for my midday hospital radio show so I decided to go to the Co-op across the road and pick some white cider up ready to suprise Fog with it. It was only when I'd picked up the traditional blue plastic bottle and started to head for the tills that I considered how I must look. It had just gone 11am and I was buying a bottle of white and nothing else. I tried to tell myself that it didn't look too bad. After all, I was freshly showered, clean shaven and well turned turned out, hardly the look of the hardened alcoholic. However, as I approached the tills my worst suspicions were confirmed. The attractive, friendly girl on the tills was smiling at me but when she saw what I was buying the smile just fell from her face.

Fog wasn't happy to see the white cider. On our way to the radio show we discussed whether we should drink another cider first to warm ourselves up or go for the white cider first and then treat ourselves to something more pleasant as a sort of dessert cider. Fog was keen that we should "get it out of the way". In any case when we got back to his flat after the radio show he wouldn't go and buy anymore until after some rugby game or other so that was our decision made.

9. White Star
As I opened the bottle of White Star I caught a whiff of the noxious liquid within and immediately realised my mistake. I poured it out into glasses and looked at it dubiously. I was beginning to suspect that this would be fairly painful and what I was putting myself through was not worth the reward of seeing Fog also drinking the stuff. Fog, to his credit, started swigging quite manfully from his pint glass. I guessed correctly that once I had tried the stuff I would be restricting myself to gingerly sipping.

I raised it to my lips and tasted. I thought, "This isn't that bad...Oh no wait, yes it is." The stuff was strong and sour with a harsh aftertaste. I wanted to spit after every mouthful. I don't know how the alcoholics do it. Once you're swigging this stuff regularly can it really be too much of a leap, or a plunge as Geraint puts it, to find yourself downing bottles of aftershave?

I asked Fog for his opinion and after a protracted bout of sarcasm he began espousing his opinions on white cider generally. "Diamond White is very much the high end of white ciders. This is much worse". He wants me to make it clear that he isn't an expert and doesn't drink white cider regularly but nonetheless he is adamant that, "Diamond White is very much the cream of the crop". I asked him to guess the percentage and he went for 7.3%. Not far off, it's 7.5%.

I really struggled to drink this cider. To the point where I was argueing with Fog over whether I had to finish it or not. When I was a student drinking games, the desire to get pissed and peer pressure saw me drinking any number of unpleasant drinks but since finishing university I've become accustomed to drinking only what I fancy. I'm not used to drinking things this unpleasant any more. Eventually Fog left for the corner shop and I tried to drink as much as I could as quickly as I could, fuelled by the incentive of another, nicer cider on its way. Fog returned with not one new cider but two...

10. Merrydown Vintage Dry Cider
I was dubious about having another 7.5% cider in the middle of the afternoon straight after the White Star. I was expecting a couple of nice pints in front of the telly not an all day heavy drinking session. Still, Fog seemed to have no such qualms and as it was the stronger of the two Fog had bought I figured best get it out of the way.

After taking a first sip Fog complained that there was a residue of White Star in his glass, affecting the flavour. It may've been purely psychological but after he said that it was all I could taste. The tang of white cider, tainting my nice glass of merrydown. After a while I gave up and began swigging straight from the glass bottle. Much better.

Merrydown tastes a bit strong for my liking and it isn't something I would drink regularly but certainly it was a vaste improvement on what came before. Fog quite likes it, finding it dry but not overly so.

11. Keane's
I started making positive noises about this cider after tasting it much to Fog's suprise. "I thought it was quite tangy and not in a good way." He qualified, "That might be because it's not nearly as dry as the Merrydown's. Ask me again when I've had a bit more." My own positivity might have something to do with the fact this cider is following hot on the heels of two much stronger ciders, rendering this one mildy pleasant if only by comparison. We carried on discussing other things until suddenly from nowhere Fog said, "It's alright isn't it this Keane's?" I was inclined to agree.

Emma is planning on buying a blender to make mojitos for a proposed cocktail party. I told Fog, "If that goes ahead, we can't drink any cocktails. We have to have new ciders."
"What? That's a bit harsh?"
"Yeah...well I might change my mind by the time it happens, I actually quite like cocktails..." Clear, decisive thinkning. The key indicator of a cider drinker. Last night after we finished drinking at Fog's he went on to another bar. He has just shown me some photographs to prove he was drinking more Western's Premium organic Cider. Nice.

The Cider Diaries-Scores on the Doors

Every week on our radio show me and Fog will be commenting on the ciders we've tried and giving scores out of 100 for each. Given that I've already written a bit about each of them I present the scores without further comment. May our expert judgements influence all your cider drinking from now on....

1. Strongbow: Fog=75 Chris=65
2. Old Rascal: Fog=48 Chris=55
3. Addlestone's Premium Cloudy Cider Fog=84 Chris=75
4. Bulmer's Pear Fog=62 Chris=62
5. Magners Fog=78 Chris=40
6. Bulmers Original(apple) Fog=65 Chris=62
7. Weston's Premium Organic Cider Fog=60 Chris=70
8. Golden Valley Dry Cider Fog=69 Chris=58

The Cider Diaries-3/1/09

Now, for obvious reasons, not every entry in this diary is going to be written on the same date that features in the heading. For example, I was in no fit state when I got home yesterday to write up the evening's events. So I caught up with it earlier this evening. However, I am writing this current entry on the sofa in Fog's house as we chill out and drink our 8th cider of the year.

We are listening to music on Emma's Ipod and watching music television with the sound turned down. Our friend Gerraint is keen for me to point out that The Rolling Stone's song Paint it Black synchs up extremely well with Eric Prydz' Call on Me video. "Put that in your blog!" he's told me. It's not strictly relevant but what the hell.

I bought the current cider from an off-licence on my way home from work. There's a corner shop across the road from Fog's house and Co-op directly opposite my place but if we try all the ciders those two places sell in January then we'll struggle later in the year when we're too lazy to try further afield. So...

8. Orchard Valley Dry Cider

This cider is nicer than I was expecting. I've never been a fan of drinks that are too dry and with Dry in the name of this one I wasn't very hopeful of enjoying this. Luckily, it isn't nearly as dry as the name implies. In fact it's actually quite pleasant. Fog describes it as 'user friendly'. Two pints each. No lying in the street tonight.

The Cider Diaries-2/1/09

Day two of the challenge found me throwing myself into the challenge with some enthusiasm. My colleagues from the shop I work in were planning a bit of a booze up in a local Old Man Pub called The Rummer Tavern as a send of for the Christmas temps who finished this week. The idea was to meet at eight after the shop shut but my shift finished at five.

I didn't really fancy the half hour walk home in the freezing cold only to walk back again a couple of hours later so I had a better plan. I invited Fog, Ceri and another old friend of mine Reader to meet me there at five so we could get line our stomachs with some old fashioned pub grub and get stuck in to some new ciders. I mention Reader and he is a good friend so he may become a reoccurring figure in this blog but it should be noted that he is not a cider drinker. Not only does he not drink cider regularly, he doesn't drink it ever, sticking almost exclusively to JD and coke. So don't be surprised if he's a somewhat marginal figure in these entries.

Disappointingly Ceri flaked on us and didn't turn up. He didn't text us to let us know and didn't answer his phone when he called. So, me and Fog slagged him off a bit, sent him abusive texts and made the crucial decision that while he was welcome to drink as many ciders with us as he wants, ciders without Ceri still count towards the challenge. So, without furthur ado....

3. Addlestone's Premium Cloudy Cider

Fog was initially a little dubious about this cider. He's a celiac and apparently gluten is often used to make drinks cloudy. Not one to shy away from a challenge, Fog is nonetheless vexed by the thought of making himself seriously ill for the sake of one more cider on the list. I employed my knowledge, wisdom and skill for persuasive argument. "I think, I mean, I'm pretty sure that some ciders are, like cloudy anyway. They're just like that, I think. I don't think they put things in them." I also pointed at the words 'naturally cloudy' on the label. Fog agreed to proceed.

The cider itself was lovely. My previous experience of cloudy ciders have not been enjoyable. They've been ciders that were flat, strong and quite unpleasant tasting. Much to my relief this was relatively light, and refreshing with a bit of a fizz to it. Definitely one I'll be trying again. Fog really liked it, going so far as to call it, 'the shit' and throwing ludicrous gang signs. He also agreed that he hoped to enjoy more Addlestone's in due course.

4. Bulmer's Pear Cider

I was looking forward to this one. Over the past few years I've developed a fondness for Pear Ciders. Later in the evening Physics Dave from work raised the point that Pear ciders are not officially classed as ciders. They're considered 'perrys' by aficionados. Or 'Piders' according to Fog. You might think then that we'd be excluding Pear Ciders from our challenge. You've got to have rules after all. But we are including pear ciders and I'll explain why.

Firstly, one of the aims of this challenge is to push ourselves to try new and different ciders, rather than drinking the same ciders all the time. It goes against this spirit to start excluding things and ruling drinks out. As far as I'm concerned anything that says cider on the bottle/can/tap is fine by me.

Secondly, as much as this challenge is about cider it's about something else as well. It's a celebration of social drinking, of time spent with friends drinking, talking bollocks and having a laugh. It's about fun and getting too anal about the exact, strict definition of what is or isn't a cider seems somehow anti-fun.

Thirdly, I really like pear cider.

I enjoyed this one. It's not the best pear cider I've had by any means but it has a clear pear flavour and isn't too sweet or too sharp, I've had several pear ciders that fall into one or other of those traps. Fog felt it was one of the best pear ciders he'd ever had. "Certainly the best I've had this year," he quipped. Yeah, I know. He makes a lot of jokes like that.

5. Magners

I've never liked Magners. You know the stuff, the mass produced bottled cider that has become popular in recent years in line with an increase in cider drinking generally. At first I was pleased to see a cider other than Strongbow in pubs. It made a change, variety is the spice of life and all that. But recently I've been spoiled by the easy availability of decent ciders. Most pubs have two or three ciders at least and Magners is usually the worst amongst them. It's bland and watery. Fog, providing balance at this point, quite likes Magners. "It's a bit better nicer than Strongbow but I'm not sure if it's worth the extra money."

I placated myself while I drank my Magners with a mixed grill and Fog had a steak(Reader had Cajun Chicken and continued drinking JD and Coke.) While we ate we discussed the merits of strongbow on tap Vs. cans and also ice in cider. I try to avoid it if I can, the ice just annoys me. Fog likes how it keeps the drink cold but had the same problem with it that I do. Namely, the way it prevents you swigging or gulping your cider. The ice just gets in the way. Fog suggested the invention of a net that you place in the top of your pint glass. This would allow you to swig your drink and keeps the ice from getting in your mouth or cracking against your teeth etc.*

6. Bulmers

The regular, original, apple version of Bulmers was next up. I enjoyed it, it was sweet and went down easily. Fog in contrast said he found it quite it quite bland. By this point I was starting to feel quite 'refreshed' and people from work started turning up. After the Bulmers I began drinking unnecessary duplicate ciders. We'd sampled every cider The Rummer Tavern had to offer so I had little other option.

In addition my friend Kate was drinking Jack Daniels, neat, no ice. Figuring no one could say I hadn't had my fare share of cider I decided to try a JD myself. The trouble being that while Kate was slowly enjoying her drink with the cool sophistication of the Whisky swilling ad execs in the TV show Mad Men, as soon as I raised my glass to my lips, instinct took over, I jerked back my neck and downed it. Not big or clever. Nor pleasant. By this point I was confidently predicting that me and Fog could do not just 52 but 365 ciders in a year. That'll be a tough claim to live up to but on day 2 we are well on course.

When it reached closing time we headed on another pub The Penn and Wigg that stayed open a bit later where we met Fog's girlfriend Emma. I was pleased to have the opportunity to try yet another cider.

7. Weston's Premium Organic Cider

I enjoyed this cider a lot. I'll be honest, at this point I was beyond any sort of reasoned critical appraisal. I was merry, surrounded by good people, having a good time. I wasn't quite in Jilly Goolden mode. However, I have had this cider on several previous occasions and can assure you that it is a good cider. I don't remember Fog's thoughts at the time. So I asked him the next day. He smiled and nodded then paused. "...I remember drinking it..." We may have to revisit this one.

Shortly before closing time I bagan to feel a little ill. I went to the toilet and sat in a stall feeling dizzy until someone, probably a member of staff, came in and said it was chucking out time. I left, met my friends and headed outside. Still suffering from nausea and not sure that vertical was really suiting me I decided to lie down on the pavement for a bit. Due to certain accusations the morning after I feel I should make the following clear: I was not trying to sleep on the pavement. I just wanted to lie down for a bit.

My friends had other ideas. At least one of them began kicking me. I remember feeling that the kicking was a bit unnecessary. Anyway, Fog picked me up off the floor, he and Emma took me by the arms and before I could say any proper goodbyes to the others they were dragging me towards home, ignoring my protestations about how comfortable I was on the floor. They continued dragging me far beyond the point I had assured them I could walk on my own.

The evening's revelries has reminded me of some troubling things about my drinking habits. Things I has pushed to the back of my mind. Luckily I am usually what I would consider a good drunk. By which I mean, I don't usually get emotional, I never get aggressive. I get cheery and silly and tell people how great they are and not to go home. That said, I did apparently refer to Emma as, "that shit" at one point and the Fog accused me of telling shit jokes, which is odd because I don't remember saying anything that wasn't hilarious...**

More troubling is that I've reminded myself that I'm actually a bit of a lightweight. I simply cannot drink too much in one go. I'm a short, skinny guy. I literally have nowhere to put it all! I get drunk quickly and don't as a general rule sit around drinking pint after pint. I do love cider but generally after about two or three pints I switch to spirits with mixers. It's just less volume. If I do stick to pints I end up feeling pretty awful either in the morning or the middle of the night when I wake up with a killer headache and the queasy feeling of a stomach still full of swirling liquid. Fog can handle his drink a lot better than I can and I hope I'm not gonna end up holding him back at some point when we might be trying to fit a lot of different ciders into a brief trip to Bristol or Somerset or something. Troubling.

* Speaking to me the next day Fog asked, "Oh, remember that ice net we invented?" It's nice to be included because the idea came pretty much fully formed from Fog and I liked it but I cant take any credit. In any case, it's very much at the drawing board stage. I mean we talked about it but I'd like to see a working model before we can say it's actually been invented.

** The next day he was pressed for evidence of my crap jokes and couldn't remember any examples. Case closed.

The Cider Diaries-1/1/09

This year my friend, and co-presenter of my hospital radio show, Fog has set us a joint challenge. We are to sample fifty two different ciders in fifty two weeks, ie a year. The challenge was set live on air on our Sunday radio show and I happily accepted. In fact I was all set to start things off at the pub after the show but Fog was insistant that the challenge had to begin from the start of 2009 and we were still days away.

Nonetheless, while Fog seemed to think it was a difficult challenge, I am quietly confident that it'll be quite easy. In fact at this point I can see us managing 365 ciders this year. Hopefully we will meet halfway and complete our challenge about October. At which point will we stop? Will we 'eck as like! We'll see how many ciders we can sample before 2010.

I've been enthusiastically talking up the challenge to our mutual friends and one in particular has been keen to lend his support. Our friend Elliot has offered us a Welsh made cider that he bought at a farmer's market. His girlfriend Cath was dubious. "Don't give them that," she chided, "It tastes like iodine!" Still, the year is young, the challenge is fresh and I'm enthusiastic. Elliot if you're reading, bring it on!

Fog was working behind a bar on New Year's Eve which put paid to any plans to start our challenge in the early hours of the first January morning of the year. This evening, at Fog's flat for a meal with the lads was our first chance to start on the ciders. I thought about picking us up a couple of bottles of quality cider each on our way to Fog's flat but I had to have a re-think. I wasn't sure quite who would be at Fog's and it seemed a bit anti-social to exclude anyone else who might want to get involved in the appley goodness. So, instead, I went to the corner shop and picked up a two litre bottle of scrumpy.

I was right. As soon as I walked through the door I was greeted with the news that Fog's flatmate Ceri intends to join us in our challenge. He even had a plastic half yard to drink from. Cant fault the enthusiasm! Fine by me, the more the merrier! Although, the rules of the challenge dictate that we all have to sample the ciders together so now there are three of us to organise getting to pubs, buying bottles for etc. Anymore and it could get unmanageable. We are not the most organised bunch at the best of times.

Cider one: Strongbow
Fog had some cans of this in the fridge so we started with something obvious while the scrumpy was chilling in the fridge. I tried to get some analysis from the boys, some critisism or appraisal but Old School was on the DVD player and, 'it's nice,' was about the best I could get out of Fog and Ceri. Not to worry though. It's Strongbow. Anyone with any interest in cider at all had tried one and if you haven't it's easily available everywhere. It's the bog standard mass produced and mass consumed cider. Nothing special but reliable enough. What more can you say?

Cider two: Old Rascal
This bottle of somerset farmhouse cider features a picture of a merry, cider drinking farmer in a smock and Michael Eavis beard. It's a nice drop of scrumpy. "This tastes stronger than the 'Bow," Fog observed, "What is it? About 6%?" It was 6% exactly. An interesting developement. I wasn't aware that Fog had this skill but it could easiy develop into the sort of tedious guessing game that will make the long winter hours just fly by. Fog wasn't a big fan of the Old Rascal, finding it a bit dry. By this point We were watching Boyz In The Hood and it was difficult to get a response out of Ceri.


More to follow...